Taking the Leap

Months after “She” awakened and started urging me to renew that passion and purpose in my life I was finally ready to go. I had spent months shifting, building a side business that was finally bringing in enough revenue to allow me to leave the district I had been working with for (at this point) 18 years.

Now, if you read the start of my story in the previous blog post, you may notice that there is a big chuck of time missing, but the HOW I made this happen is far out shadowed by the WHY.

One of the biggest things that I have learned over the past few years is the nature of the paradigm. And that paradigm is a tenacious one at that. It has only been until recently, through deep personal development and energy work that I have been able to actually recognize the paradigm for what it is. Before that I saw it often appear as “circumstances” or “shitty luck” which is how it may currently feel to you. But trust me, it’s the paradigm.

So of course, right when I was getting ready to write my letter of resignation the paradigm appeared. This time rearing it’s ugly head in the form of my husband getting fired from his job. Without any warning or notice.

Now, had “She” not been speaking to me so frequently and loudly, I may have decided to postpone my resignation for the sake of my family and our finances. I mean, who wouldn’t.

But I didn’t. I looked my husband square in the eyes and said, “I could stay at work so that we still have a stable income until you find another job. But I’m not going to. It will work itself out.”

And bless his heart, he agreed.

Typing a letter of resignation for a position that used to be at the top of your career pedestal is a very surreal feeling. While part of my felt as though I was ready to fly, the other part felt like I was about to plummet. This career was who I was. It’s a persona that so many knew and recognized me as. i was an expert in my field. Not to mention, it was my family’s stability, our benefits.

The fear pulsed through me with every strike of the keyboard as I hammered the letter out. And she was whispering to me and cheering me along. “Yes! Welcome to the next chapter of your life.”

Just like that, my career as I knew it up to this point was done. With the click of the Send button. Not done, done. But done in the sense of finally being ready to let go of the world that I had known, worked so hard for, once loved but had become a chore, a “have to”, draining of my joy and energy.

I had taken the leap and I was ready for what was next.

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